Love Quest


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1. How love works

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They came from two different worlds: she a Muslim and he a secular Jew. But neither religion nor cultural differences mattered right now. She was timid but struck him as sweet and kind. Randy did not mention Farah to anyone in our family: not our mother, who lived a minute drive away; not our father and stepmother in Allentown, Pennsylvania; not me across the country in Los Angeles. The next day my brother's caretaker, Ralph, let himself in for a scheduled visit and walked in on the two of them in bed, catching all parties involved off guard.

He stepped outside and immediately called my mother, who was out of town on business. She was shocked and, far away and unable to immediately resolve the crisis, felt helpless. Randy was told that he could not have a guest stay for an extended period, which struck him as absurd. After a series of failed relationships, he'd found his soul mate, and no one was going to tell him he couldn't be with her. So they called a taxi and fled. My mother panicked.

The boy she'd protected so carefully since before he was born had vanished. She phoned to report him missing and called his cell over and over. We all did.

My Autistic Brother's Quest for Love

At first he did not respond; none of us knew where he was or whether he was all right. We were concerned that he might not have brought his medication.

What if his thoughts became jumbled or depressive? What if, without his eye drops, he went blind? He picked up her call on the second day of his disappearance, but he did not want to talk things through.

He was furious: She and everyone else were trying to control his life. He screamed at her to stop calling and promptly hung up. The police searched for Randy for a week.

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They warned my mother that Farah could be conning Randy, that such things happen to people with disabilities all the time. They looked in downtown Orlando but had no leads and gave up the search. Seven days after he disappeared, Randy returned to his apartment with Farah in tow. They'd been at a nearby hotel, feverishly having sex in an effort to get pregnant. He didn't care how much trouble he'd be in: He had that look in his eyes, like he couldn't get enough of her. He was filled with happiness, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

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But it was time for her to go home. Randy took Farah to the airport in a cab and said goodbye, promising that they'd see each other again. She left, but he couldn't get home, so Ralph the caretaker picked him up. On the ride back, all he thought about was how much he loved her and that he couldn't wait until they could talk again.

All he had left in Florida now was my mother's love. Randy's issues began before he took his first breath. As a fetus, he was implanted low in my mother's uterus, and a series of high-risk OB-GYNs closely monitored the pregnancy to make sure he survived.

Adam & Eve: Love Quest

He was born five weeks early, and my mother knew immediately that something wasn't right: The placenta and umbilical cord were abnormal, and he flopped around like a rag doll for months when she held him in her arms. He was a very sick preemie; he could barely hold his head up and couldn't keep food down.


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At six months old he was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy. Some doctors thought he would never be able to walk; his legs were deformed—both turned at right angles like hockey sticks. But he persisted and continued to grow. He was eventually able to remain upright and then move around, but only with the assistance of plastic braces from his ankles to his waist; even then he had trouble holding proper posture.

Randy struggled to keep saliva in his mouth, a condition that persists to this day. He had difficulty developing speech as a result of weak facial muscles. He defaulted to a slack-jawed, open-mouthed expression. All of this made it hard for him to communicate. He mumbled frequently and preferred to avoid eye contact. He didn't learn to talk until the time he entered preschool. At seven, he was diagnosed with severe attention deficit disorder.

An endless stream of speech, occupational, and physical therapy appointments defined the first several years of his life. From kindergarten to second grade, Randy attended a private institution for children with learning disabilities; from third through sixth he went to public school but wasn't able to keep pace with his peers. With all the attention he got, I often felt neglected and would occasionally lash out at the family.


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  5. But more often, I felt bad for him because of his condition, even though I didn't fully comprehend it. I also hated the stress it put on our parents. I did my best to remain the strong older sister. My parents decided to send him to a boarding school for children with special needs when he was Around this time, my parents separated and later divorced, further throwing off my brother's fragile stability. Hearing them fight at home was hard on him; he'd get deeply sad and confused, not understanding why two people who'd loved each other so much couldn't work it out.

    Didn't they have what he'd always wanted? My brother's childhood in our hometown of Allentown was rough, filled with bullying and loneliness.

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